All those pretty words and trite anecdotes are just a massive coverup.
This is what’s really going on.
There are others in this world to whom Christ is something, but not much. They are anxious to save themselves, but since they must confess some imperfections they use the merits of Christ as a sort of makeweight for their slight deficiencies. Their robe is almost long enough, and by adding a little fringe of the Redeemer’s Grace it becomes all they can wish. They say prayers. They go to Church to take the sacrament, to observe Good Friday—these are the main reliances of many a religionist—and then if the coach sticks a little in a deeper rut than usual they call in the help of the Lord Jesus, and hope that He will put His shoulder to the wheel.
They commonly say, “Well, we must do our best, then Christ will be our Savior, and God is very merciful.” They allow the blessed and all-sufficient work and sacrifice of the Savior to fill up their failures. And they imagine that they are extremely humble in allowing so much as that. Jesus is to them a stopgap, and nothing more. I know not whether the condition of such people is one whit more desirable than that of those to whom Jesus is nothing at all, for this is a vile contempt and despising of Christ, indeed—to think that He came to help you to save yourselves—to dream that He is a part Savior, and will divide the world and honor of salvation with the sinner.
Those who yoke the sinner and the Savior together as each doing a part rob Christ of all His Glory. And this is robbery, indeed, to pilfer from the bleeding Lamb of God the due reward of His agonies. “He trod the winepress alone, and of the people there was none with Him.” In the work of salvation Jesus stands alone. Salvation is of the Lord. If Christ is not all to you—He is nothing to you. He will never go into partnership as a part Savior of men. If He is something He must be everything, and if He is not everything He is nothing to you.
Charles Spurgeon
Don’t know how to go to Christ with a broken heart. Just gonna have to go to Christ for a broken heart.
Holy Spirit: need help.
Distract me no more from my work, temptation. My arrow is against other enemies of God, enemies of the Most High. I cannot waste an arrow on such pitiful sparrows as you are. You are birds beneath my noble shot. I will not waste a single arrow on you.
I apologize for not writing at all this past week. God showed me that I was running on fumes. I need him now with the same desperation as I had at the end of June, so this week I just spent time with my Dad.
Wednesday was my first day at my new job. This semester, I’ll be a teacher with an afterschool program at J.J. Pickle Elementary, tutoring and mentoring a class full of 5th grade boys along with teaching them from the Bible.
This week, we learned about character from Romans:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:1-5
We focused on character as a reflection of God’s love for us, but it wasn’t until the end of class that I was reminded of the extent of his love.
After I finished the lesson, one of my students threw a paper airplane across the room after I had told him not to play with it in class. I saw him throw it, but I asked him anyway, “Did you throw the airplane?”
He responded to me, “No.”
I asked him, “Are you lying to me?”
“No.”
At the time, it seemed like a trivial incident. He’s still a boy, I should expect there are times when my students will be disobedient to me. Yet, not long after, my disappointment with the situation turned into hurt.
A student I met that day but that I still cared for had just lied to my face and out of love, I had no choice but to discipline him knowing that he wouldn’t understand why I had to do what I did. He might hate me, because I love him.
Is this me? Do I do this to my Dad, who cares about me more than I could ever possibly care for my students?
I do disobey him. I do lie to his face about it.
But he gives me grace. He forgives me. And he disciplines me. Because he loves me.
He wants me to see that everything that catches my eye won’t do. He is the only one who can fill my heart.
I came across this beautiful excerpt from one of Samuel Rutherford’s letters from when he was in prison:
If God had told me some time ago that He was about to make me as happy as I could be in this world, and then had told me that He should begin by crippling me in all my limbs, and removing me from all my unusual sources of enjoyment, I should have thought it a very strange mode of accomplishing His purpose. And yet, how is His wisdom manifest even in this! For if you should see a man shut up in a close room, idolizing a set of lamps and rejoicing in their light, and you wished to make him truly happy, you would begin by blowing out all his lamps, and then throw open the shutters to let in the light of heaven.
Samuel Rutherford
This became obvious in my life these past two weeks. Over the summer, I had something that I loved taken away from me and God used them to break my heart, so he could show me all these things that I loved more than him. He worked mightily (he works no other way) and continues to repair me, to heal me, but I wander so easily, even after all that he’s done.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with where I place my affections and God revealed to me that I still have such a long way to go, that he’s not done with me yet. My heart desires to pawn itself off to anything that moves, even though his love shines so brightly. My sin is too great; he is greater!
I shared this with Steven a few nights ago and he said something that was simple (quite difficult for a philosophy major, mind you), but spoke deeply to me. He said, “This may sound silly, but your desires, whatever they are, God satisfies them. Your desire to have someone in your life is overwhelmed by Christ’s love.”
Indeed.
Our hearts need a Tsar Bomba. It makes no sense to use a Super Soaker.
When we go Home, there won’t be girlfriends or boyfriends, husbands or wives, because we won’t want to have one. No, in the company of Jesus Christ, we are completely satisfied!
This is his love, that Christ died for us while we were still sinners, so we could see God glorified, which is our heart’s need! That is what we place our hopes in, knowing that it is God’s power that achieves what we require, and that Jesus paid for every last cent of our debt because he loves us so.
Friend, how he loves you so!
I expect, one day, to sit among the angels and to behold the face of my Best-Beloved, but I do not expect this because of anything in me, or anything which may ever be done by me, but simply because of the infinite love of God! I trust not to my love of God, but to God’s Love to me! We trust Him because He loves us. We are sure that He will fulfill our hope because He is too loving to fail us. It is from the love of God that all our hopes begin and it is upon the love of God that all our hopes depend! If it were not for the Father’s love, there had never been a Covenant of Grace. If it were not for His infinite love, no atoning Sacrifice had been provided. If it were not for His active love, no Holy Spirit would have quickened and renewed us. If it were not for His unchanging love, all that is good in us would soon pass away. If it were not for love almighty, love immutable, love unbounded, we would never hope to see the face of the King in His beauty in the land that is very far off. He loves us and, therefore, He leads us, feeds us and always keeps us. Do not your hearts confess this? If that love could be suspended for a moment—if its power were, for an instant, to cease, where would we be? We fall back upon the love of God as the final reason of our hope in Him.
Charles Spurgeon
Dad, you are greater than anything that has ever existed. There is nothing for me here. You overwhelm all my desires; fixate my heart on you.
Make me more like your Son! Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me, make me completely joyful in your salvation and use me to turn people back to you.
Father, continue to break my heart, so that I could love you more than anything else. Do whatever must be done that you would be glorified in my life!
Remind me every day that you love me more than I know. I need you now and forever, Father. Thank you for all that you have done and all that you do.
Listen to me in silence,
O coastlands;
let the peoples renew their strength;
let them approach, then let them speak;
let us together draw near for judgment.
Isaiah 41:1
The past five days have been a complete whirlwind. God’s been rebuking, teaching, encouraging me through all these different circumstances and every night I’ve come home exhausted.
I was talking to Steven last night and he was telling me about the Meyers-Briggs test, that it’s beneficial to know people’s personality types so that if they start doing the opposite of what they’re good at, you know that there’s lots of stress or friction there.
When I start to run out of steam, many times I do the opposite of what I need, which is recharging through Scripture and prayer. Instead, I look for strength in things that aren’t very strong.
Let us draw near to the footstool of divine mercy in humble entreaty, and we shall realize the fulfillment of the promise, “They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength.”
Charles Spurgeon
Father, I thank you for today, that I could rest, read, spend time with you. You give all the energy that you powerfully work within me needed to proclaim you. You fill me to the top! Nothing else will do!
But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:41-42
The semester started today for me and what a busy start it was.
I recently got an e-mail from a good friend of mine and she said that she was “such a Martha.” It’s amazing that she shared that with me yesterday. I believe it was the Holy Spirit prepping me for today, because honestly, I oftentimes am Martha more than Mary.
I’m having difficulty adjusting to busyness whereas this summer was so singularly focused. I must remember to work not out of anxiety, but rather serving out of love, the result of my being enthralled by Christ.
The first thing for our soul’s health, the first thing for his glory, and the first thing for our own usefulness, is to keep ourselves in perpetual communion with the Lord Jesus.
Charles Spurgeon
Gotta keep my eyes on the Gospel.
Father, help my unbelief that you will take care of things. You’re enough; everything else pales. Dad, please help me to listen to when I need to go and when I need to slow down. Help me to be obedient to you so that you would be given all the glory in my life!
But I am like a green olive tree
in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
forever and ever.
I will thank you forever,
because you have done it.
I will wait for your name, for it is good,
in the presence of the godly.
Psalm 52:8-9
There are too few words to describe your love, Father!
It is manifold love. As Bunyan says, “All the flowers in God’s garden are double.” There is no single love. You may think you have but one love, but you shall find it to be a whole cluster of them.
Charles Spurgeon
I love you, Jesus, because you loved me first. Your everlasting love is my confidence. I stand only because you hold me up. As long as you love me, I will say, “Thank you.” Let me praise you forever!
